Tips for Managing Expectations during the High Holidays
September 16, 2020
Make the most of your High Holidays
September 18, 2020
Check out this video for some creative tips on how to make the most of your High Holidays this year, as we reflect on the challenges we are overcoming with Covid-19. If you have the energy for creativity- go for it and if you don't, take a breather and know that these ideas are not going to make or break your High Holiday experience.
1. Leave post it notes with connecting messages around the home. Encourage your children to do the same.
2. Turn your home into a Synagogue and get creative with the role play.
3. Write yourselves a new year letter filled with reflections and hopes. Check back on these letters again when your children turn 18.
4. Rose, Bud and Thorn discussion.
Wishing you and your family a Shana Tova- Happy New Year.
How to Say Thank You and Mean it
January 4, 2021
Family Self-Care List
January 10, 2021
Let's Chat! 5 Back to school Conversation Pointers
January 24, 2021
Removing Our Masks to Reveal Our True Feelings
February 23, 2021
"It's Okay, These Things Happen"
March 3, 2021
Always and Never. Words can build or destroy
March 15, 2021
Please tell me again- Storytelling and Integration.
Part one of two. Passover 2021
Passover is all about retelling a story. When we tell a story, it connects the left and right hemispheres of our brain to promote integration. Integration leads to balance and stability. We want to encourage our children to tell stories about life events in detail, as often as they like. When they share stories where they felt safe and secure, they will be able to access these feelings more easily in the future.
Stay tuned for part two where I explore what happens when we share stories that elicit difficult emotions.
*Ideas shared from The Whole Brain Child, written by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. If you haven’t yet read this book, I highly recommend you get yourself a copy ASAP.
Tell the Whole Story- Reclaiming Ownership for Our Life Stories
Part two of two. Passover 2021
Challenges are universal- we all experience them and we can’t protect our children from them. There will be times when your child gets hurt, feels left out or loses someone they love.
As parents, we support our children through these difficulties and give them the tools to work through them. When your child retells a story that was difficult, they may get stuck in the middle of it with the feelings that they felt during the challenge. You can help them extend the story through to the end, where there is some resolve or safety. You can ask them, what happened next, and remind them of the next steps that brought them to a safe space where they are now able to share that story.
We all have stories, ones that make us laugh, and cry, feel afraid or feel loved. If you are alive and breathing then your stories haven’t ended. Don’t be afraid to revisit them and challenge your narratives- you’ll be more balanced, healthier and happier for it.
*Ideas shared from The Whole Brain Child, written by Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. If you haven’t yet read this book, I highly recommend you get yourself a copy ASAP.
Introduction to the Healthy Mind Platter
April 2021
We know how important it is to have a balanced diet of healthy foods for our wellbeing and physical health, but what about our mental health? Dr Rock and Dr D Siegel created the Healthy Mind Platter which incorporates 7 activities that we should be doing daily for optimal mind health . They are Focus Time, Physical Time, Play Time, Connecting Time, Down Time, Time In and Sleep Time. Their research explores the impact of these activities on different parts of our brains and overall wellbeing. You can find more info here- https://drdansiegel.com/healthy-mind-platter/ The key is to have balance. There is no prescribed time allocation for each activity, but we should ensure that we incorporate each activity in every day. If you don’t currently do this, that’s ok! It takes time to adjust and being mindful of the Healthy Mind Platter can help us to understand ourselves and our needs and our children’s needs better. This leads to increased understanding and sensitivity when those needs aren’t being met. To read the full article click here
Focus Time with JH Kids
April 2021
How much of our day is spent really focusing on one task without getting distracted? Time is a precious resource and if we can skill up in focusing, staying focused and refocusing when distracted, then we will be more successful. This video is an introduction to Focus Time in the series of activities within the Healthy Mind Platter, created by Dr Daniel Siegel and Dr David Rock. The original framework can be found at https://drdansiegel.com/healthy-mind-platter/ The views and opinions expressed in this video are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the intended views of the creators of the Healthy Mind Platter. To view the full article click here
Connecting Time with JH Kids
April 2021
How much time in our day do we connect with others? Through giving and receiving in a meaningful way we become more secure within ourselves and flexible when confronting challenges. This video is an introduction to Connecting Time in the series of activities within the Healthy Mind Platter, created by Dr Daniel Siegel and Dr David Rock. The original framework can be found at https://drdansiegel.com/healthy-mind-platter/ The views and opinions expressed in this video are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the intended views of the creators of the Healthy Mind Platter. To view the full article click here
Play Time with JH Kids
April 2021
It's Play Time! How much of your day is spent playing? Self-directed play helps create new connections in the brain and is important for children and for adults. How can I bring more fun into my day? This video is an introduction to Play Time in the series of activities within the Healthy Mind Platter, created by Dr Daniel Siegel and Dr David Rock. The original framework can be found at https://drdansiegel.com/healthy-mind-platter/? The views and opinions expressed in this video are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the intended views of the creators of the Healthy Mind Platter. To view the full article click here
Time In with JH Kids
April 2021
Time In is when we shine the spotlight on what we are experiencing within. How am I feeling? What am I thinking? What is my body telling me? The more aware we are of our internal processes the more balance and integration we have. This video is an introduction to Time In in the series of activities within the Healthy Mind Platter, created by Dr Daniel Siegel and Dr David Rock. The original framework can be found at https://drdansiegel.com/healthy-mind-platter/ The views and opinions expressed in this video are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the intended views of the creators of the Healthy Mind Platter. To view the full article click here
Downtime with JH Kids
April 2021
Ah the simplicity of doing absolutely nothing! When was the last time that you just did nothing- without feeling guilty about it? Down time does not mean a waste of time- it is a space that gets filled with new insights and brain connections. This video is an introduction to Downtime in the series of activities within the Healthy Mind Platter, created by Dr Daniel Siegel and Dr David Rock. The original framework can be found at https://drdansiegel.com/healthy-mind-platter/? The views and opinions expressed in this video are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the intended views of the creators of the Healthy Mind Platter. To view the full article click here
Physical Time with JH Kids
April 2021
It's time to get moving! How much exercise do we need? How about our children? How can we increase our heart rate every single day? This video is an introduction to Physical Time in the series of activities within the Healthy Mind Platter, created by Dr Daniel Siegel and Dr David Rock. The original framework can be found at https://drdansiegel.com/healthy-mind-platter/ The views and opinions expressed in this video are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the intended views of the creators of the Healthy Mind Platter. To view the full article click here
Sleep Time with JH Kids
April 2021
Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. We crave it when we don't have enough of it and we push it aside when it is offered to us. Why is that? How much sleep should we be getting and how can we make the most out of our snooze time? This video is an introduction to Sleep Time in the series of activities within the Healthy Mind Platter, created by Dr Daniel Siegel and Dr David Rock. The original framework can be found at https://drdansiegel.com/healthy-mind-platter/? The views and opinions expressed in this video are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the intended views of the creators of the Healthy Mind Platter. To view the full article click here
All Dressed Up with Nowhere to Go
High Holidays 2021
Are you all dressed up with nowhere to go? Join the club. These High Holidays will be like none other. Last year Sydney Siders were prepared for synagogues being closed and hearing the sound of the shofar on the street. This year there are no children services, no gatherings with friends and family, and it comes after months of uncertainty and juggling practicalities and feelings (both our own and our children) that are new and deep and overwhelming. So where does that leave us? Exactly where we are. Feeling excited and prepared for the High Holidays, or overwhelmed and at breaking point. Or a mix of everything. This year I implore you to come as you are. Give your children the gift of your presence as you come to the table all dressed up in your finest, or in your PJ's. G-d is not sitting in the empty synagogues but right with you in your home. If you are looking for creative ways to spice up your High Holidays check our videos from last year https://www.jewishhouse.org.au/blog/jh-kids-videos. We will be launching our High Holidays with JH Kids webpage on Friday with links to activities for your older children, story and activity time for your younger children and short insights for you too. Wishing you a Shana Tova! May it be a good year that is filled with health and joy, connection and growth and fresh air!
Take That First Step
Chanukah 2021
Can Guilt be a Good Thing?
Yom Kippur 2022
Yom Kippur is in just over a day. It is a time for introspection and reflection and that can bring up feelings of GUILT or SHAME. Guilt and shame are not the same. When appropriate, guilt encourages healthy realignment of behaviours with values. Shame does not do the same. When we feel shame, we want to run away or disappear. It doesn't encourage change- instead we get caught up in a destructive cycle that feels unending. Do you know the differences between guilt and shame? Can you recognise them in your self-talk, or your children's? This is just a snippet of a much larger discussion. Get in touch to chat more.
A Message of Courage
Purim 2023
It is time to celebrate with food and friends and gifts to the poor. It is also a time where Jews around the world read Megillat Esther- The story of Purim. We read about Queen Esther who had tremendous courage to stand up for what was right, literally risking her life. What is courage? How can we be more courageous? How can we encourage our children to do the same? Join us as we explore the concept of courage, because the reality is- we are all brave, we have faced challenges and overcome them. Sometimes we just need a little reminder.
The Importance of Asking Questions
Passover April 2022
Why Mum? But whyyyyyy Dad? Can I have this? Why can't I go there? Why do I have ADHD? What is puberty? Why don't I have friends? Why is the sky blue? Why do I get sooo angry? Why did grandma die? What is suicide? Why do I love you soooo much? These are just some of the questions that you may be asked by your child. The real question lies in how you answer the questions. We want our responses to foster connection and encourage our children to ask us more. We want their questions to lead to discussions because we want to be the people that our children turn to for answers. Join us as we explore: 1. How we can become people who our children are comfortable to turn to with their questions. 2. How to tune to where our child's questions are coming from. 3. What to do when we don't have the answers.
Giving and Receiving
Shavuot 2023
Shavuot is a festival in which the Jewish People commemorate receiving the Torah. It is a gift and it got me thinking about Giving and Receiving. Often, we give love to our children in the way that we would like to receive love- but each person receives love differently. It can be frustrating for both the parent and child if love is not being given in a way that it will be received. We want to give love in a way that will fill our children's cup. This means learning a little bit more about their unique love language. Check out the quiz here
Unconditional Love
Tishe Be'Av 2023
What does it mean to unconditionally love our children? Is this love something that our children feel daily? Think of a time that you were the recipient of unconditional love. Who gave it to you? What did it mean to you? We want our children to know that our love for them is not dependent on how they behave. We want our children to know that no matter what they say or do, our love for them continues to strengthen each day. Can we feel the intense unconditional love every moment of every day? Probably not, but can we tap into the knowledge of its existence each day? Can we say "I love you" to our children every single day?
What is My Family's Motto?
Rosh Hashana 2023
Rosh Hashana- the beginning of a new year. We all want to have a sweet new year and we can take steps to make that happen. A family motto or mission statement is a reflection of your family's values. Sometimes our behaviours represent our values beautifully, and sometimes they don't. We want our values to be reflected in our day to day interactions with ourselves and others. The values that we instil in our children from a young age, stay with them through to adulthood. Whether we like it or not, our family has a motto. What is your family's motto? Try sitting down as a family and writing two lists- what we think our family motto is, and what we would like our family motto to be. If the two lists are the same, send me some notes :). But if there are discrepancies then this is the year to face them head on and make those tweaks in our behaviours so that they line up with our values. This year, let our family motto be one that we choose for ourselves.
The Only Way is Baby Steps
Yom Kippur 2023
Have you ever wondered why you have a hard time with self-improvement? Maybe you're like me and find it challenging to change behaviours or thought patterns. Well, today we discuss an idea that was truly mind-blowing for me and credit goes to Lynn Lyons who has authored "The Anxiety Audit" that goes through these ideas in more detail. Lynn shares that there is only one way to combat unhealthy thinking patterns, and that is by taking baby steps. Baby steps are still steps forward and are SO significant! Yom Kippur is around the corner, a time when we consider our interactions with ourselves and others and look to improve on them. This year lets make significant strides forward by taking teeny tiny baby steps.
Experiencing Joy with Every Essence of our Being
Sukkot 2023
Have you ever felt joy or happiness and suddenly this foreboding feeling comes to zap that joy away? The feeling that says, "this isn't going to last", "something bad is going to happen to take it all away". This feeling tries to prepare us for the worst, when we are feeling our best- and that is not helpful. So how can we combat it? Watch further to find out. Sukkot is a time for rejoicing- in hebrew- zman simchateinu. Let's allow ourselves to experience that joy FULLY, with all of our senses, with every essence of our being.
Now is the Time for Shared Happiness
Purim 2024
The hebrew calendar month of Adar begins today. It is a time where we increase in 'shared happiness'. What is the difference between shared happiness and regular feelings of joy, delight, happiness? One is about the 'I' and the other about the 'WE'. We can only experience 'simcha' (shared happiness) through connecting with others. It exists between us, rather than within us. Give it a try over the next few weeks. What are some things that you can do with/for others? Clean the local park Play music and have a family dance party One on one time playing a game with each of your children Game night with your spouse Choose a charity to give to or to volunteer at What you might find is that through shared joy, your individual wellbeing is cared for as well.
My Needs Matter, and So Do Yours!!!
Can you write a list of all the things you love doing, and set an alarm each day to ensure you are putting your needs first?
How Are You?
How are you? When was the last time you asked the question and paused to actively listen to the answer? Do it for others and yourself and see how validating and supportive it can be.
Are You Listening, Mate?
Sometimes we just need a really good vent. Someone or something we can turn to and share all of our fears, worries, anger, disappointment, and joys. Who or what would you turn to? Where can you safely share these things? You can write it in a journal, scribble it on a paper, share with a friend.
The Constant Chatter in Our Minds
Pause for a minute. What is the constant chatter in your mind saying? Are you even aware of it? Is it kind, encouraging and supportive?
I Need Help!
Sometimes we give by giving, and sometimes we give by allowing somebody to give to us. Challenge your difficulties with asking for help. We are a team- reaching out in times of need reduces our aloneness and helps us to get through. Give it a go.
Have a Laugh. It is So Good for You!
Laughter just feels good! Laughing can diffuse a tense situation and trigger a really good cry. Find something funny to watch, or a silly game to play and have a laugh.
Dip the Apple in the Honey
Yes, we know about the apple and honey- we dip it each year, but what can we learn from it? The apple can represent the different aspects of us, or our moods and those of our children- happy, sad, sour, angry. Apples go bad pretty quickly if they are left out- they aren't permanent. The feelings and moods and even behaviours come and go. What is permanent? The Honey- the goodness that exists within all of us, our desire to do good, the fact that we, and our children are doing our best. You're having a yucky moment, but you're not a bad apple!
So go and coat the apple in the honey as a reminder of the sweet truth about each one of us.
Take a Break from Working on Yourself
Ludacris? I know! Life is busy. Life is tough. Sit in the tough for a bit. Sit in the good for a bit. Are things really all that bad that they need fixing? Is it possible that it is good enough? It is important to work on yourself, being growth oriented is a goal in and of itself, but sometimes we forget to get off the treadmill of working on ourselves, and being the best version of ourselves that we don't even realise what we have right here and now is good enough. If you're anything like me, then when you've had a bad day, you think how you can make things better so that the next day is easier. Tough times are uncomfortable, and we want to take away that discomfort- sometimes focusing on how you can fix it, or make things better is another way of distracting you from just sitting in the difficult space. Because sometimes, it is just a bad day, and if you can step back, you will see that the bigger picture is not as bleak as you think. It’s been a tough year all round. Good enough IS good enough.
The End Goal is Compassion!
What is compassion? How does it differ from empathy? Why is it so important? How can we build it?
What are the 4 C's of Advocacy?
Advocating for ourselves of for our child is not always easy! We often step in at a time when feelings are running high. How can we approach advocacy feeling calm, confident, competent and compassionate?
What Do the Colours of the Rainbow Teach us about our State of Being?
There are many different ways to describe the Colour Zones of Regulation, and different people use different colours. Today we are focussing on Blue, Green, Orange and Red. Learn what it looks and feels like when you or your child are in each colour zone and what you can do about it. Click here for a video that you can show your kids to help explain their zones of regulation.
Let's Dance! Relationships and Patterns
Relationships exist between people. They are two directional and patterns develop within them. Let’s call it a dance. What do your dances look like? Are they supportive and loving? Do they feel icky and uncomfortable? What can we do to have more enjoyable dances, and learn the trick to immediately end the uncomfortable dances and create new ones.
Click here for an article that delves into "When your child seems stuck seeking negative attention.
What's your Go-To Defence Mechanism? Relationships and Coping
What's your Go-To Defence Mechanism? Get to know it, learn to notice when it pops up, ask yourself if it is helpful and if not, know that with some work, you can train your brain and change it. Click here for Lael Stone's tedtalk where she expands on repression, agression and expression.
Who is in the Drivers Seat? Relationships and Triggers
When we are triggered, our reaction is usually an OVER reaction and we might wonder where such an intense reaction came from. When considering intense and triggering interactions, I like to consider who is in the drivers seat. Is it my adult self? Or is a younger version of myself coming out to play? When we overreact, it is usually the latter.
Click here for a great podcast that delves into this deeper.
Got a Minute? Crisis Mode vs. Everyday Mode
What happens when we shift from crisis mode to everyday mode?
Got a Minute? Prepare for the Storm
Your children are back at school and I'm sure you already know what storm I am referring to. How do you prepare? What have you found to be more/less helpful?
Got a Minute? Pause and Check In
Have you got a few seconds throughout your day to PAUSE and CHECK IN with what your body is telling you?
Got a Minute? Feel and Heal
What happens when we distract ourselves away from our uncomfortable instead of facing them?
Got a Minute? Time for You
When we feel big feelings we let them out in one of three ways (According the Lael Stone) Aggression, Expression and Repression. Expression is the healthiest outlet. So how do you like to express yourself?
Got a Minute? Bye Bye, Fix It Mentality
Your children may be showing deep uncomfortable feelings through the transition back to school. As parents it is natural for us to want to step in and take those feelings away, or fix their challenges for them. But what would happen if we supported them through and trusted that they have the tools to face this?
Got a Minute? Patience
Patience is Power. It allows for the all important pause that is the difference between responding and reacting. It is easier said than done but a skill worth investing in, moment by moment.
Got a Minute? What Do I Actually Want?
You’ve had a time to reset. To just be and to reprioritise. Ask yourself now what do I want? What do I want for my family moving forward. Would I change anything? You have a choice in how you move forward. Be comfortable saying ‘no’ to commitments, knowing that by doing so you are saying ‘yes’ to what you actually want and what is best for your family.
