Facing Harsh Realities with JH Kids

Introduction

Here we introduce our new series- Facing Harsh Realities. 

What is an Acute Stress Response?

What is "normal" when it comes to responding to trauma? The range of norm is wide when it comes to responding to crisis. In this video we discuss those norms, focusing the energy on feeling it, rather than challenging it and signs that may indicate that you may need some extra support.

Head to Avi Tenenbaum's website for some informative infographics.

Reactions.

No two people will respond to the same experience in the same way. There are different coping mechanisms. Some will throw all their time into volunteering or helping others, for another it may look like closing up and not leaving the house, for another it may be keeping busy with work.

We are all feeling something big but we do not all need to experience those feelings in the same way. This realisation can replace our frustration with compassion.

The Ocean as a Metaphor

When I lived near the beach, I made every effort to be near the ocean. I drew strength from its vastness, the sounds, the sights. The Ocean can be seen as a metaphor for the journey of our life, which has its ebbs and flows. The wave can be a metaphor for our feelings, that come and go- sometimes feeling insurmountable and other times calm and relaxed. The storms of the sea come and go, as do the tumultuous time periods in our lives. This too shall pass, but when are in deeply in it, we draw on all of our resources to pull through successfully.

Feel Those Feelings

Feelings come and go and they vary in intensity and duration. Some feelings are more enjoyable to experience than others- but we don't get to pick and choose when they come, and we don't get to select the ones we enjoy and chuck out the ones we don't. Today we discuss the importance of feeling our feelings, with the intensity that they come. We know that the feeling will pass and we will see through it with patience and acknowledgement.

Use the Energy to Live

Feelings give us energy. We know how it feels to be excited, and we can use the energy to jump up and down. We know when we are proud of ourselves, we want to do a victory dance. We also know that feelings such as pain and grief and anger also give us energy- and we can use that energy to move, we can use that energy to cry, we can use that energy to do, we can use that energy to live!

Here is an Example

In this example I share how was I was able to use the energy from my feelings of grief and sadness to do- to live. This does not replace the fact that I also came home and spent some time crying, I needed to process the experience and it took time to move those feelings through my body.

Moving from Helpessness to Helpfulness

The feeling of hopelessness is not a fun one. It is a feeling of despair, and it feels as though our actions are meaningless. Helpfulness on the other hand is an actionable feeling. It is one where we realise that each effort I make, as miniscule as it may feel is useful and it creates hope. Join us as we discuss how we can turn hopelessness into helpfulness.

Do it YOUR way

We are unique individuals. We approach volunteering, friendship, kindness, helping in different ways. There is no right way and there is no wrong way- Do it YOUR way.

Schedule your Purposeful Moments

Sometimes the heaviness of difficult news feels too much. Sometimes the sheer number of volunteer opportunities seems overwhelming. A lot of the time it can feel like we are not doing enough. I have found that scheduling volunteering opportunities at the beginning of the week creates more balance for myself and my family and has combatted my feelings of guilt when I am overwhelmed by the needs surrounding us. Everything that you are doing for yourself and for your family to stay afloat right now is enough. A sense of purpose turns despair into hope.

Concentric Circles of Support

When an individual or family is going through a crisis, they stand in the centre of many circles of support, immediately surrounding them is their closest family and then friends, outside of that may be colleagues and community members, beyond that medical professionals and onlookers. Those in the centre require the support of those around them, and can lean on them, because they too are leaning on those outside of their circle. If we are able to lean on those outside of our circle, instead of those inside, then we are better equipped to be the support that those in the centre need. But if we turn to those in the centre with the pain that we are feeling, we don't give them the space to rightfully feel theirs - for more on this see Ring Theory